


Now is the Winter of our Discontent

by sunowl154 (nokkakona)



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:04:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 16,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5093486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nokkakona/pseuds/sunowl154
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a friend's birthday, a Harry Potter story that focuses on her original characters: Wren Montgomery, an eternally exasperated Slytherin with a family secret. Jay Malfoy, the adopted brother of Lucius with hidden scars. Jade, a loose cannon being manipulated by higher powers for their own gain. And at the center of it all, Fin Michaels, a nervous wisp of a boy who needs protecting from himself- and his shared past with Jade. (You can read it if you aren't Kylie, you probably won't understand anything that goes on, so why read this?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. die-again alley

_~ 1971 ~_

Diagon Alley was nothing like Wren had pictured. There were no golden towers, no painted faces, no rows and rows of chocolates and cakes. The only cakes were the ones the cows made- and there were rows and rows of cows. Wren wondered whether they were black cows, or whether the fog of charcoal that hung in the air had turned them that colour. 

"Wren!" Miss Kitty's voice rung over the crowd like the crack of a whip. Wren flinched away from the fence she had been leaning on. "Come back at once!" The woman snapped her cane against the ground, but the sound was lost in the bustle. Wren hurried back to Miss Kitty and her wards, a ragged lot with broken teeth and blackened ankles. 

Miss Kitty frowned at Wren, her glasses reflecting the dull sunlight. "You're always running off! Do you want to get lost?"

Wren knew Kitty wasn't looking for an answer, so she kept her mouth shut. 

"Barring any further distractions," Kitty glared at Wren, "we will now adjourn to Flourish and Blotts. Hold on to each other's coat tails!" 

The boy behind Wren hung on to her ponytail instead. She said nothing, but when they reached the bookstore, she elbowed him hard in the gut and took off into the shelves.  

* * *

Cade's backpack rattled. Cade's backpack always ratted, to be fair. Rocks, beads, little orange bottles of pills- small, hard things that could bounce against each other in a tight container. But today Cade couldn't hear plastic bags crinkling against each other, or the clink-clink of the jewelry chains inside of them. Diagon Alley was so loud, she could barely hear herself think. Braying donkeys and their braying pedalers sold ticking gadgets and bubbling cauldrons. Clean-faced children coughed as their dirt-smeared equals laughed, shoeless, taking shiny little things from underneath adult noses. Cade fiddled with the paper in her hands, crinkling and smoothing it systematically. No one could hear it over the din. 

"Aleta, look!" Cade cried, tugging on the hem of her sister's blouse. "Cats!"

Her face, the same as Cade's but sullen and fatter, fell. "Why aren't there any dogs?" 

"Maybe werewolves bit them and they turned into people." Aleta narrowed her eyes. Before she could open her mouth, a hand appeared on her shoulder. Jay, white-haired and stern-faced, frowned down at his sisters. 

"There you are," he signed. He smelled like antiseptic. 

Cade balled her hands into fists, crumpling the paper. "We were only gone for a moment!" she replied, arms flapping wildly as her hands formed the words. 

"It doesn't matter." He straightened the lapel of his coat. "Everyone's already inside, and you haven't even looked at your list yet." 

Cade's eyes widened. She looked down at the torn parchment in her hands, crushed into a tiny ball. Jay touched his finger to his temple. "You're trouble, Cade." 

* * *

Dust smeared Wren's fingers as she dragged them along the rows and rows of books. A few copies slipped out underneath her fingers, joining the swirling mass above her head- books rearranging themselves, zooming into people's baskets, summoned by stocktakers and interested customers.

She rounded the corner and came face to face with a large desk. Parchment and discarded ink bottles were scattered across it. One, not quite empty, was leaking black ink onto the floor in a steady drip, drip, drip. A quill, its edges dipped in gold paint, lay abandoned on the chair.

Wren looked around. A balding man and his three children were blocking the view of the cash registers. One of the children was crying, chubby hands clinging to a silver-bound edition of Unicorns: Debunked as his father tried to put it back on the shelf.

She pocketed the quill, turning around to head back toward the shelves.

"Wren!"

Her blood ran cold. Behind her, a cane snapped against the floor. She turned around, feet frozen to the ground. Kitty narrowed her eyes, cane in one hand and a handful of a boy's shirt in the other. He squirmed, but the effort was fruitless. Wren recognised him as the boy she had elbowed earlier. Xander? Xanthus?

"I was just looking!" she said. The pen weighed down her pocket.

"You run off again, and Xavier claims to have been assaulted by you." She shook him. "Where are your books?"

Wren glanced away.

Kitty shut her eyes and shook her head. "You're just like your sister, Wren," she said. Xavier, still squirming, was released and stumbled into the shelves. "Help her find her books, boy. I have other things to attend to." With that, she stalked back to the front of the store, cane cracking against the floor with every step. Wren imagined the sound was one of Kitty's bones breaking.

The boy wandered up to her, hands shoved in his pockets. "I'm sorry for pulling your hair," he mumbled.

Wren pursed her lips. "Kay." Anxiety clawed at her stomach. Why wouldn't he leave? She spun around and began climbing up the ladder to the upper floor.

"Wait for me!" To her horror, the boy began to follow her. She quickened her pace, stretching to skip the last few rings of the ladder. She pulled herself into the balcony and scrambled to her feet. The boy's head popped up over the edge.

"Leave me alone!" Wren snapped, stalking off into the bookshelves.


	2. in which everyone is a Slytherin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which everyone is a Slytherin and the ancient magical document listing the names of every witch and wizard born 11 years ago temporarily forgets that "m" comes before "r"

"Riddle, Aleta!" People began whispering at the tables around her as a girl with mousy brown hair, a fat face, and a sullen expression trundled up to the stool. Wren caught smatterings of their conversations: _A Riddle? Damn. Another Slytherin, then._

The hat barely touched the girl's head before it shouted, "RAVENCLAW!" Raucous applause erupted from the blue table. The girl, expression unchanged, trundled over toward her new housemates and plopped herself down on the very end of the bench.

"Hufflepoof and Gryffindip aren't meeting quotas," the girl next to her whispered. It was the third time this same girl had spoken to her. No amount of disinterested grunting and turning away seemed to deter her. Still, it was an odd enough comment to earn her a sideways glance, and Wren finally got a good look at her face: mousy brown hair, wide cheekbones, and freckled skin.

Wren frowned. "You were just sorted!"

The girl rolled her eyes. "No, dummy. I'm-"

"Riddle, Cadence!" The girl grinned. "Gotta go."

She pushed her way through the crowd, scaling the steps to the stool in twos. She misjudged the last step and went sliding into McGonagall with a muffled 'oof'. Laughter dappled the Great Hall. The girl- Cadence- just gave McGonagall a toothy grin as she sat on the stool, leg bouncing against the wooden grain. McGonagall looked down at her over the frame of her glasses, but placed the hat on her head anyway.

A boy at the blue table- Ravenclaw?- whispered, "There's two of them? Please be another-"

"SLYTHERIN!" It was the green table's turn to clap and shout. Cadence, grinning from ear to ear, practically skipped to the green table. A tall boy with a drawn face moved to make room for her. He made a series of gestures that Cadence seemed to understand, since she laughed and responded in kind.

"Michaels, Fin!" The ambient conversations began to die down, but no first year stepped forward.

McGonagall cleared her throat. "Michaels, Fin!" she called again. The crowd began to whisper.

Then, a tiny voice came from the middle of the first year hoard: "I can't- I can't quite get through!"

The people behind Wren began to shuffle to the side. Wren herself was nudged out of the aisle. A tiny wisp of a boy began maneuvering his way to the steps. As he passed Wren, his glasses slid all the way to the tip of his nose. "Sorry, sorry," he mumbled, cheeks flushed from embarrassment. Wren twitched. He looked too young to be a first year.

Her stomach clenched as he struggled, chest heaving, up the steps. She found herself breathing a sigh of relief once the hat was finally on his head- but it said nothing. Wren bit her lip. The boy turned red. Red was beginning to look blue when, finally:

"All right, have it your way. SLYTHERIN!"

All four tables erupted in applause. Wren began to breathe again.

McGonagall withdrew the scroll again, eyes tracking down the page. "Montgomery, Wren!" Her voice echoed throughout the hall. Wren's breath caught.

She held her head high as she moved toward the steps. It felt as if the entire room was staring at her- and they probably were. What if she fell, like Cadence? She stiffened her steps, calculating every move until she clambered onto the rickety old stool. The hat settled on her head.

_A Montgomery? This should be easy_ , a voice whispered. Wren blinked and looked around, but no one else reacted. It was the hat, she realised. It was looking inside her head.

"And another one for SLYTHERIN!"


	3. give a man a fish

_~ 1975 ~_

"I don't know what you see in him."

It was midnight and most of the other students had retired to their rooms, but Wren had ten inches of essay left to write and six books on the breeding habits of dragons splayed in front of her. Cade, lounging on the couch, shoeless feet resting on the cover of "The Hungarian Horny-tail: A Summary" wasn't helping. Barty had done her essay hours ago.

"See in who?" Wren mumbled. Her palms were pressed against her temples, fingers knotting into her hair as she stared desolately at the empty page in front of her.

Cade wiggled her toes. "Black. The bigger one, not Regulus."

Wren narrowed her eyes. "He terrorises me during potions, I turn his hair pink, and you think I 'see something in him'?"

Cade shrugged. "You've done worse to the less annoying. Last week, Langsley called you a freak for changing your hair color during a test, and you-"

Wren waved a hand. "Don't remind me."

"How is old Langsley, anyway?"

"He'll be in the hospital wing having the fur removed for another week, at least."

Cade snickered. "Fur. Classic."

The stone wall behind them began to grind against the floor as it opened, revealing the passageway to the dormitories. Cade's face brightened. "Fin! And- ew."

"Always a pleasure, Cade," came Xavier's voice from the doorway. Someone flopped down onto the armchair to her left. Groaning, she lifted her head away from her paper. Xavier was splayed out in the armchair, one foot on the floor, the other next to Cade on the couch. Fin remained standing, arms crossed. There were dark circles under his eyes.

"You look awful, Fin," she said.

He gave her a twitchy smile. "Just tired," he said.

Xavier snorted. "He's lying. He's been fighting with Jay." Fin ground his teeth together.

"What?" Wren frowned. "But you two are always okay."

Cade made a noise and peeled herself off of the couch, standing up and maneuvering Fin into the spot she had been sitting. "Relax, kid," she said, flopping onto the floor next to Wren.

Fin shifted. "It's nothing, really. Don't worry about it."

Xavier waved a hand. "Come off it, Finny."

Fin twitched. "Don't- don't call me that..."

Wren glanced from Fin to Xavier. "What happened, Fin?" she asked before Xavier could say anything else.

"Jay's going home for break," Fin said.

"... and?" Cade prompted.

"And... nothing, really. I just- I sort of wish he could stay-"

Cade laughed. "Wait, you're upset because you won't see him for a few weeks? Precious!"

"It's not that! I-" Fin was cut off by the grinding of stone against stone as another student entered the common room. This time, when Cade's face lit up, it wasn't with a smile, but a smirk. Wren wrinkled her nose. There was a very short list of people that gave Cade that look, and Wren was sure she didn't like any of them.

"What are you all doing out of bed?" Wren recognised the voice as belonging to Regulus Black, a boy one year their junior and Sirius' younger brother.

"You," Wren began, "can hardly ask me that." She flashed the prefect badge on her robes at him.

Regulus' sallow face became even more drawn as he glared at Wren, arms crossed. "Oh, please. You're all out after curfew as well. And so is Cade. And Xavier. And-"

"Shhh, Reg, or you'll make her hair go all sunny sky!" Cade teased, patting the ground next to her. "Shut up and sit down." She looked back at Fin. "Michaels has got a story to tell."

With the eyes of the whole room upon him, Fin turned a violent shade of red and stared at the ground. Cade nudged him as Regulus scaled the couch and settled beside her.

"It's just- I got a little upset when he told me and said some things..." Fin mumbled. "I just hope everything will work out."

"Aw, Fin, don't be like that." Xavier piped up from the armchair. "Even if it doesn't, there are other _fish_ in the sea."

Fin narrowed his eyes. "Not that you have to worry 'bout that," Cade jumped in, "cos you've got him _hooked_ already."

"She's right," Regulus added, a smirk tugging at his lips. "You've just got to _reel him in_."

"Why do you do this to me?" Fin cried, dipping his head into his hands.

Wren, smiling, patted his leg. "Come on, Fin. We're just trying to cheer you up."

He sniffed. "I know. It's-" A tiny smile flickered across his face. "It's working a little." He swiped his thumb underneath his eye. "Hey, I guess- I guess we were both acting _fishy_ all night, anyway."

Cade snorted and Wren began laughing so hard tears formed in her eyes. Her quill fell down to the table. Momentarily, the essay was forgotten.

"Well, we know what Jay's doing for break," Xavier mused once Wren had stopped snickering. "What about everyone else?"

"Ugh, back to the Black mansion," Regulus griped.

"I'm kipping here with Bartsy," Cade chimed in. She gave Regulus a little kick. "What, you're abandoning me?" Before he could respond, Xavier spoke.

"I'm staying."

Wren looked up. "You are?"

He gave her a wry smile. "Food's better. You know how it is."

Wren's fingers curled into the lining of her sweater.

"Forgot you two are still homed together," Cade said, breaking the tension in the room. "Shame Michaels' all the way in Wales." She tilted her head. "You're staying, aren't you, Michaels?"

"Of course."

"I guess it'll just be us four then." Fin opened his mouth and shut it again, stopping himself from speaking. Cade didn't notice. "Well, I'm off to bed." She popped to her feet, brushing imaginary dust off of her skirt.

"I'll walk you," Regulus said, following her.

As they departed, Cade called to Wren over her shoulder. "See, Wren? The Blacks are capable of producing a decent boy. You should get yourself one."

They disappeared behind the bookshelves, the common room door sliding shut behind them. Wren quickly wiped away the pink flush that spread across her cheeks, returning her skin to its normal white.

"She doesn't know?" Xavier asked. She shook her head.

"No. And she won't find out."

"I dunno, she's smart. And sneaky," Xavier added. "You and that Gryffindor prat need to be careful."

Wren shut her eyes momentarily. "I still don't know why we can't just obliviate him."

Fin made a small strangled noise.

"None of us can work magic like that yet," Xavier translated, "and for whatever reason, he knows those woods better than anyone."

A breeze lifted the curtains above their heads, moonlight trickling in through the glass panes. The candles flickered, sending shadows across the room. Wren sighed. "I know. I just hate working with him."

Fin glanced down at his feet. Wren shook her head. "Fin, it's not your fault."

"But it is," he mumbled. "If _she_ weren't here, you wouldn't have to watch her. Sirius wouldn't have discovered her, either."

"She's just trying to protect you," Xavier said.

"But I'm safe," Fin protested. "Here, at least."

Wren began picking at the quill. "So's she. Safer than where she was, anyway."

Xavier waved a hand. "Can't blame her. I'd take sleeping alone in the Forbidden Forest with no toilet paper in the middle of December over living in Wales any day."

Fin twitched.

"Look, it'll be okay, Fin, all right?" Wren reassured him. "Black and I are going into Hogsmeade tomorrow to get some things for her." She smiled. "Jade will be fine, I promise."


	4. ew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which fin has cold fingers, Lucius has cold eyes, and riddle has a cold soul

The list of things Fin actually owned was very short: a wand, a few books, a journal, and a collection of sweaters and khakis that Xavier called "a tragedy in bland". But bland suited Fin just fine. It meant he could stay hidden, unseen and unheard. Not having very many things aided in this also: he could pack quicker.

The same could not be said for Jay. It had taken him two days to arrange all of his clothes in a heaping pile next to his bed, and another two hours to find a way to stuff it all into his suitcase. On top of his books and various hair products, Jay had resorted to dragging his wheel-less luggage down to the train tracks. Fin had offered multiple times to help, but Jay insisted on carrying it himself. Not that Fin was complaining. His fingers had nearly frozen off just from the walk down to the train. The Scottish winter was in full force, and the chilly wind had leeched all of the colour from Fin's cheeks.

By the time they made it to a bench by the tracks, Fin was as white as a ghost.

"There," Jay sighed, dropping his trunk unceremoniously beside the bench. Fin winced at the heavy thump it made. "Now we just have to wait here for..." he glanced at his watch, "another 20 minutes. Why did I let you convince me to come down here so early?"

"You'd be late otherwise," Fin said, rubbing his hands together.

"Are you cold?" Jay tilted his head, looking down at Fin's gloves- fingerless, loose knit, and falling apart at the seams. Fin pursed his lips.

"It's fine," he mumbled. The other students waiting at the station were rosy-cheeked, dressed in layers from head to toe. Bland was one thing; but he wished he had the money to buy better winter clothes.

Jay smiled. "Here." He stepped closer to Fin, taking off his own gloves and pressing warm hands against Fin's cheeks. Fin instinctively leaned into his touch. "Better?" he asked.

"A- a little." He could feel the eyes of other students trained on them. He blinked. "Um."

Jay faltered and stepped away. Fin's stomach twisted, and he opened his mouth to apologise, but another voice interrupted him.

"Ah, brother. You're here." The grip of a cane, silver and shaped like a spitting snake, snapped onto Jay's shoulder. Its owner gave Fin a toothless smile. "And so is Michaels," drawled Lucius.Even though Jay was adopted, he and his brother had the same icy blue eyes.

Lucius' flickered over Fin's ragged coat and gloves, and he grimaced. "Going home for the holidays, Michaels?"

"Just seeing Jay off," he mumbled. "I was about to leave."

"Nonsense." Lucius waved a hand. "I wouldn't dream of being less than welcoming to such a good _friend_ of my brother's."

Fin turned pink.

Jay laughed. "I've been trying to put some color into his cheeks," he said. "Thanks, Lucy."

It was Lucius' turn to flush. "I've told you a hundred times-"

"And you'll have to tell me a hundred times more, Luce," Jay interrupted, patting his brother's arm.

"Yes... the train will be here soon," Lucius said with a grimace, withdrawing from Jay's touch. "Say goodbye to your-" he glanced sidelong at Fin, "-whatever he is." He turned on his heel and walked back toward a second bench. Cade's brother and a girl with blonde streaks in her hair Fin didn't recognise greeted him there.

"My brother can be an ass, but he's right," Jay said, drawing Fin's attention back to him. "The train will be here any minute now." He reached out and took Fin's hand. "Here. Wear my gloves back to the castle." He placed the gloves in Fin's palm.

Fin opened his mouth to protest, but Jay shook his head. "I've got a hundred pairs at home." He glanced around, then lowered his voice. "And I expect you'll be spending more time outside than usual," he murmured.

Fin sighed. "I suppose you're right." He pulled off his own gloves and slid his hands into Jay's. The leather was cold on the outside, but the cold didn't reach the velvet inside, already warm from Jay's hands. "Thank you."

Jay gave Fin a small smile. "I ought to go join Lucius and the others," he said. "Write me?" Fin nodded. Jay squeezed his hand. "Try not to freeze to death while I'm gone."

* * *

 

Once on the train, Jay met up with his brother and allowed himself to be led to a compartment. A tall, blonde boy with a drawn face greeted them there with a quiet, "Lucius." Jay recognised him as the boy who shared his name, Jay Riddle, Cade's older brother.

Lucius took a seat opposite him as Jay struggled to lift his trunk over his head and onto the luggage rack.

"Jay," Lucius responded. It took Jay a moment to realise he wasn't addressing him. "All ready for your birthday celebration?"

"A pointless occasion," Riddle said. It sounded as if he were speaking through gritted teeth. Jay had never heard the boy talk; his accent was unlike Cade's, almost German, voice dark and stoic.

It was so surprising that he lost his grip on his trunk, teetering on the edge of the rail, and sent it sliding into his chest.

Riddle glanced at him sidelong, chiseled expression breaking long enough for him to frown. Without a word, he withdrew his wand and gave it a sharp flick. Jay's trunk went sliding into the rack.

Jay smoothed down the front of his robes. "Thank you," he said stiffly.

"An occasion nonetheless," Lucius drawled, eying Jay as he sat beside him. "I know both my brother and I will be delighted to attend."

Jay bit the inside of his lip as Riddle turned his cold gaze toward him once more. He looked nothing like Cade, with her soft features and round eyes. Riddle looked him up and down, grunted, and turned back toward the window.

"Chatty," Jay commented under his breath.

The corner of Lucius' mouth twitched as he glanced at Jay from the side. Riddle's gaze flickered to Lucius as soon as he looked away.

"Quite," Lucius said with a low chuckle. "Side effect of being deaf, I suppose."

Jay mouthed "Oh". Not an adoptee. "Say, Riddle, why isn't Cade joining us for this occasion?" he asked. Riddle kept his eyes focused on the Lucius. Realising his mistake, Jay waved a hand, catching Riddle's attention. He repeated the question. "Cade won't be joining us for your birthday?"

"No," he said. Jay waited for him to elaborate, but again, he looked back toward the window.

Lucius cleared his throat. "Well. Isn't this lovely. My brother, Jay, and my dear friend," Riddle clenched his jaw, "also Jay, both home for the holidays."

"Yes," Jay drawled, "lovely."


	5. bad dog

"No."

The trees' thick canopy had protected the forest floor from the snow that covered the rest of the grounds. But the leaves still fell, frozen into thin sheets of ice that crunched under Wren's feet. The chill in the air had her wishing she had worn more than one flimsy coat.

Sirius, she noted, was not cold. He had been bounding circles around her ever since they passed the trees' threshold. Now, warm brown eyes looked up at Wren imploringly.

"Drop it," she snapped. Sirius tilted his head, the enormous stick between his jaws bumping against the ground. "Bad dog."

Sirius belted out a muffled bark, lifting the stick and prancing back behind Wren. It thudded onto the forest floor. Rolling her eyes, Wren resumed her slow trudge through the forest, Sirius close at her heel. The straps of her backpack dug into her shoulders, weighed down by the food she and Sirius had been taking from the Great Hall and the supplies they had bought- well, Sirius had bought.

The paws crunching the leaves behind her suddenly fell silent. Wren frowned, turning around to see Sirius' ears flat against his head and lip curled. "What is it, dog?"

A shadow flickered in the corner of her eye. Something was in the forest. She whipped around, raising her wand. A gust of wind tugged at the trees, leaves swirling down from the canopy. She backed toward Sirius. "You know," she hissed, "I don't say this often, but I'd prefer you as a person right now."

There was a pop, and an "oof", and then Sirius put a hand on her shoulder. "Whatever it is, it didn't smell human," he said. "We need to keep moving."

"No shi-" A hyena-like laugh interrupted her. Her fingers tightened around her wand, knuckles turning white. Another shadow moved in the corner. Wren felt something dart past her leg. She jumped away, but not before the creature's claws sliced through her jeans.

"Hey, asshole! Duck!"

Wren dropped to the ground. A ball of fire soared just over her head, setting the shadow aflame. It let out a gurgled scream and retreated into the woods, tails thrashing behind it. Wren leapt to her feet and turned her wand on the newcomer.

She blinked. "Jade!"

Jade shook her hands out. Wisps of smoke escaped from her fingertips. "I really need to get a wand."

Wren dropped her spell. "What are you doing so far out here?" she demanded.

"Saving your ass, apparently." She walked closer to Wren and Sirius, dark hair falling into her eyes. She raised a hand to brush her hair back behind her ears, and Wren saw that there were two identical holes singed into the palms of her gloves.

"Fancy seeing you here," Sirius said. "Try not to kill us with that hedge magic."

Wren shut her eyes briefly, but otherwise ignored him. "Those things. Have you seen them before?" she asked.

Jade shrugged. "Once or twice. Xavier said they're... grinches, or grims or something."

"Grimps." Wren touched a finger to her temple. "Fantastic."

Jade glanced down at Wren's pack, which had been abandoned in the scuffle. "That for me?" she asked, pointing toward it. Wren nodded. "All right." Jade bent to pick it up, and then turned on her heel. "Come on, I'll show you the way."

Jade led them back to her humble abode, stopping before the ivy that stretched across the opening of the clearing. "Oh yeah," she muttered, pulling apart the foliage, "I forgot to mention..."

Toilet paper, empty candy wrappers, and clothes were strewn everywhere. The sleeping bag Wren had stolen from Cade (who had stolen it from her brother) was torn to shreds. Wren's grip on the backpack loosened.

"Jade!" she snapped. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"It only happened this morning," she shrugged. "Damn... grimps."

Wren shut her eyes. "You can't keep living in the woods anyway," she said, hand to her forehead.

Jade snatched her wrist. Pain blossomed up her arm. Wren drew a sharp intake of breath. "I can't go back," Jade said. Sirius stepped forward. She glanced down at her hand on Wren, and ripped herself away as if burned. "Shit. Sorry. I just..."

"Did she hurt you?" Sirius demanded, taking Wren's hand and gingerly examining it. The skin felt tight and raw. "These are burns!"

Wren shook him off, pressing the tip of her wand to the reddened skin and mumbling, "Episkey." The skin returned to its normal pale white. "Jade..."

"I know, okay?" she snapped. "I can't control it."

"I can talk to Dipet. He'll-" "Send me back!" Sparks flickered along her arms. Wren shook her head and took a step closer. "Jade, I promise you he won't," she said. "We'll come get you tomorrow, okay? Just stay here-"

Wren was interrupted by the clearing of a throat behind her. Her stomach sank. "Miss Montgomery," a voice greeted her. Begrudgingly, she turned around. Dumbledore gazed at them over the tops of his half moons. "Lovely night for a walk."


	6. splish splash i was takin a bath all upon a saturday night

~Jay’s Recurring Dream

_Every day she woke him up with a kiss, dry, cracked lips like teeth upon his brow. Her clawed fingers would snake through his hair, the sweet sunshine words, "Time for a bath," on her tongue. None of the bathroom doors locked anymore._

_Sometimes her cracked lips became a scrap of paper, curled into a fist made stiff by death. Her fingers brushed against his hair as they drew a rope around his neck. Instead of suffocating he would feel honey in his throat, burning as he breathed it in. "Like mother, like son," she would say. Her eyes switched from icy blue to dull, still brown. Both were warmer than the hand on his head, holding him under the water._

* * *

 

­

Malfoy Manor was nestled at the end of a brick road, guarded by tall hedges that, no matter where the sun was in the sky, cast a shadow over the path. At night, the only light was the yellow glow of the parlour coming from the end of the tunnel of greenery. It was meant to be imposing. But for Jay, it just felt like home. 

His room was on the third floor, where it was hot, but quiet. Three of the walls were panelled with extravagant woodwork, while the one by the window was smooth grey stone. He collapsed onto his bed as soon as he entered, discarding his luggage at the door. Sleeping alone once more, without snoring, rustling covers, and Slughorn's ill-informed decision to put Fin and Jay in the same room, to distract him.

By the time sunlight began to soak through the black curtains, his shoes had been removed, and his luggage unpacked. Steam billowed out from underneath the cracks in his bathroom door. Half-asleep, he dragged himself into the bathroom, tossing his clothes onto the counter and slipping into the warm bath, eager to be rid of the memories the dream had left lingering on his skin. 

It was a ritual. Every time he came home, the nightmares welcomed him. As a child, it had been worse; now, they came and went. He no longer feared them when he slept; just expected and accepted them. A warm bath helped replace the feeling of cold hands and a woman's voice in his ear. Some mornings he had to remind himself that she wasn’t here; she was buried six feet underground in the family plot on the demesne.

He couldn’t soak in the tub for as long as he would have liked that morning. Other obligations were calling his name, written in neat black ink on the sealed envelope that had been slipped under his door that morning: an invitation. He could hear the sound of bare feet pattering across his bedroom floor beyond the door- Dobby had already begun preparing the clothes his father had chosen for Jay. Abraxas kept an iron grip over his family, but Jay understood why. At least he had good taste in fashion. He sunk further under the surface of the water, bubbles lapping at his chin. He would make the most of what would likely be the only time he had to himself for the rest of the day. 


	7. jaded

Cool morning light seeped in through the painted windows of the library. Dust kept settling on the pages in front of Wren, twinkling in the sun. Dumbledore had chosen to start her detention as early as possible just a day before a practice OWL in History of Magic. She would be polishing silverware with the house elves for hours. On top of everything, the deputy headmaster had also mandated that she write him a nine inch paper on the creatures she and Jade had encountered that night. Unfortunately, she wasn't the only person crazy enough to be in the library at the crack of dawn.

"Dumbledore's really making you write a paper on..." Kingsley squinted at the text in front of Wren. "... 'the best ways to defend yourself from grombling grimps'... just for getting caught past curfew?"

Wren tugged the parchment closer to her. "Yes."

Kingsley raised an eyebrow. "I thought grimps only lived in the forbidden forest."

"I wouldn't know," Wren muttered. "After all, it's forbidden."

Kingsley tilted his head, giving her a knowing look. The squeal of wooden legs being dragged against the floor prevented him from responding. Cade pulled up a chair, sitting with her arms folded over the backrest.

"All right, Shacksley?" she said.

Kingsley leaned back in his chair, the first two legs coming off of the floor. "I am now," he smirked. Cade snorted.

"Piss." She scooted the chair closer to Wren. "Why's he helping you? I'm loads better at..." She too began to squint at Wren's parchment. With a sigh, Wren put a book on top of it. "Hey!"

"He's helping me study for history. He's in my class."

"Still! Shack-in-a-box?" She held up a pointer finger. "Stick? Mud?" She stuck her finger into the palm of her other hand. "Ever heard of it?"

"You wound me," the offended said dryly.

Cade stuck her tongue out. "Shack up, Kingsbolt." Wren was beginning to forget what the boy's name actually was. Boltsley? Kingle?

"Is that an invitation?"

"What, shack up? That's-" Abruptly, Cade made a strangled sound. "Kingsley!"

Oh, right, Wren thought. Kingsley.

"Yes?"

Cade dropped her head into her hands. "Menace, you are."

"I try."

Wren grimaced. "You two are giving me a migraine." She began to pack up, shoving her quills in her knapsack.

"Don't leave me with him," Cade whined. "Where've you got to be this early?"

"Detention," Wren sighed.

"Because of the hermit you're harbouring in the woods?" Cade pouted. "Wish you'd've let me in on it. Sounded like fun."

"Is that why you're writing that essay for Dumbledore?" Kingsley asked. Wren rolled her eyes.

"I've got to go. Ask Cade about it," she said. "Apparently she's all up to date." Without waiting for a response, she threw her pack over her shoulder and rushed out the door.

 

* * *

 

Flitwick's watery blue eyes stared down at her from his perch on the dais, his form bobbing up and down slightly to the rhythm of a floating charm. His eyebrows were raised, his wand tapping the book in front of him. "Well, Ms Deathe? Wherever is your wand?"

A room full of twelve year olds snickered behind her. The girl next to her scribbled something down on a piece of parchment and slid it to her friend. Jade bit her tongue. "I don't have one," she said.

"Class, Ms Deathe is a recent addition to our little lessons, so perhaps we ought to recite my number one rule of Charms class, yes?" He looked around the room, nodding his head. A dozen high-pitched voices recited in a dull drone,

"BE LATE, FORGET YOUR PAPERS, DON'T WEAR SHOES, BUT ALWAYS BRING YOUR WAND."

Flitwick tittered and added, "A wizard is nothing without a good wand, after all!"

Jade stared at him and imagined what he would look like with his eyebrows on fire. "I haven't got a wand, Professor. At all."

Flitwick cleared his throat. "Oh dear. Perhaps you might use my wand today, Ms Deathe."

Jade began to discreetly pack up her things minutes before class had ended. As soon as Flitwick dismissed them, she was out the door, speeding down the hall with her eyes cast on the floor.


	8. it's snowing and im cold and i hate school ~ an xavier knight autobiography

Professor Kettleburn was not the kind of man one wanted to cross. A scraggly braided beard disguised his crooked jaw, but didn't hide the many teeth he was missing. He had dedicated the first day of class to recounting how he had lost each and every one of them, ending with the tale of how a giant southern manticore had taken off his left arm in one bite. Only about half the class had returned for the next meeting. Xavier was beginning to regret being one of them.

"Got yourself in a bit of a sticky situation, eh, Knight?" Kettleburn growled. The slime his flobberworm had begun to exude was beginning to freeze over on Xavier's robes.

"Er..."

"Didn't do the reading, eh?"

Xavier blinked. "Er..."

"If you'd done, you'd know that flobberworms have two mouths. One for food, and one for acid."

Xavier grimaced. The slime on his robes began to tingle.

"Lucky for you, it's easy to counter." Kettleburn picked up the bucket of snail juice the students had been feeding their worms. "Just a little bit of this, and you'll be right as rain."

Kettleburn took two solid strides forward and upended the bucket over Xavier's head. Spluttering, Xavier stumbled away, knocking into the table behind him and sending a girl's flobberworm flying. It landed in the snow and made a beeline for the forest, leaving a sticky brown trail behind it.

Kettleburn watched it go with a grimace on his face. "Class dismissed!" he cried eventually, tossing the bucket after the worm. It pinned the creature into the snow.

Xavier wiped the snail juice from his face. Behind him, Fin sighed. "Are you okay?" he asked, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Xavier grimaced.

"I'm covered in mutant slug acid and failing this class. Also, I think my robes are starting to freeze to my body." He pulled the front of his shirt away from his chest. It squelched. "So, no. No, I'm not."

Fin bit his lip, and Xavier sighed. But before he could say anything, Fin joined the rest of the students filtering back up the hill to the castle.

Xavier collected his things and trudged along behind them. The snail juice was frozen to his skin by the time he stepped into the building, but had melted again once he made it into the dorms. The shower he took was probably the longest of his life. By the time he emerged, squeaky clean, he had missed his last two classes, and the sky outside was beginning to grow dark. Instead of going to dinner, he threw on a clean sweater and scarf and walked down to the greenhouses, where he knew he would find who he needed to see.

Dusty shadows dappled rows of plants as the snow fell quicker outside, but the greenhouse was warm despite the flurry beyond its glass walls. Sitting at the end of one of the rows was a girl, long dark hair draped over her arms, eyes cast steadfastly on the dirt floor.

"Jade." She drew her knees closer to her chest and didn't respond. The circles under her eyes were darker than normal. Xavier settled cross-legged beside her. "You wouldn't believe the day I've had," he said.

"Try me," she muttered.

"Two words: snail juice."

Jade glanced in his direction, but didn't make eye contact. "Is that what I smell?"

Xavier grimaced. "Seriously? I thought I got it all out..." He dragged a strand of hair under his nose, inhaling, and coughed. "Merlin's beard..."

Jade snickered. "You're an idiot."

"What about you? What's got you hiding in the greenhouse?" Xavier leaned back on his palms, but abruptly stopped when he remembered that the floor was dirt, not tile. He brushed his hands off on his slacks. "I figured you'd be sick of nature after living in it for two months."

Jade shrugged. "It's quiet here."

The sun fell lower in the sky, turning the clouds pink. The snow blanketing the grounds looked darker. "You had your first classes today?"

"Yeah. I hate them." Her fingers curled tighter around her knees. Xavier gently bumped his shoulder against hers.

"Yeah, they don't get better."

Jade finally turned to look at him. "Thanks," she drawled.

"Just wait until you have Care of Magical Creatures."

Jade groaned and dipped her head into her lap. "You're not helping."

"Sorry." He smirked. "Kiss and make up?"

"Ugh." Without lifting her head, she leaned to the side, falling against his shoulder. Xavier swallowed. She had been in here a while, but his toes were still numb from the trudge through the snow. She was warm, even through her robes.

"Jade?"

He felt her stiffen.

"What?"

"... nothing."

He settled a little closer to her and watched the snow build on the greenhouse roof until he couldn't see the sky anymore.


	9. im cold and gay

It was too cold for Fin to be forgetting things around the castle. It was too cold for the thing that was forgotten to be his scarf, and it was certainly too cold for him to have forgotten it in his second-furthest class from the castle, Herbology.

But he loved that scarf. Jay had given him that scarf. And Jay was supposed to be coming back tonight. So he begrudgingly made the hike down to the greenhouses. The night made the cold even more biting.

All of the greenhouses were dark, blotted out by the snow that covered them, except one. A couple of candles were lit inside, and as Fin grew closer, he heard the muffle of voices coming from within. Good, he thought, sighing. It must be the professor having a study session. She can let me in.

He cupped his hands around his eyes and peered through them into the greenhouse, ready to call out. But he could only make out two students sitting in the dim light, still wearing their winter clothes. He pushed his glasses up higher and narrowed his eyes. Their backs were turned to him.

He sighed. Not a study session. Just a couple on a very lame, very cold date. He looked around the rest of the room, but didn't see his scarf. His fingers were beginning to form ice fractals on the glass. With a sigh, he turned back the way he came, retracing the stumbling path he had made from the castle. Jay was going to be back soon, and he didn't want to freeze to death before he saw him again. He would just have to get his scarf tomorrow.


	10. peskipiksi pesteronomi

Cold morning light filtered in through the barred windows of the dungeon, wind whistling against the stone outside. Wren's knuckles were white, the knees of her jeans stained with muck, and her back ached from kneeling for so long. Worst of all, Sirius was  _singing_.  

"Splish splash I was takin' a bath, ba-duh-duh-duh, all upon a Saturday naaa-ight!" He whipped his scrub brush through the air. Brown water splattered across the wall. "Scrub-a-dub-dub, just relaxin' in the tub, thinkin' everything was all rii-i-ight!" 

Wren concentrated on her section of floor. She had been scrubbing the black spots out of the same stone for over half an hour and was beginning to wonder if Dumbledore had enchanted them to become dirtier with every back-and-forth movement of her hands. Sirius had given up about fifteen minutes ago, and after unsuccessfully attempting to indict her into his plan to laze around, was currently trying to bother her enough to get a rise out of her. Unlike Wren's scrubbing, Sirius' actions were beginning to take effect. Blue coloration was steadily spreading from her roots to the tip of her hair. 

"You're going to break soon, Wren. I can feel it," Sirius proclaimed, interrupting his song and dance. 

"Something's going to break, but it's not going to be me," she muttered under her breath. 

He resumed his singing, treating his brush as an air guitar and strumming discordant, imaginary tunes. Wren ground her teeth together. Before she could react, cold air filtered in through the door, accompanied by high-pitched laughter. Sirius stopped dancing, sighed, and said, "Peeves, we can hear you." 

"Pesky little peckers, scrubbing the floors!" A ghostly head poked through the wall, spinning around leisurely. "Looks like Dumbleydore left Peeves a treat!”  

"Sod off, Peeves," Wren grumbled. 

"Did Peeves interrupt something?" He cackled. "No worries, no worries! I've only come to store something- well, lots of somethings..." 

Stone scraped against stone as one of the bricks in the wall was pushed out onto the floor. Wren scrambled to her feet and grabbed the hem of Sirius’ shirt, pulling him away from the hole. For a moment, there was no sound. Wren wondered if Peeves had left. Then, she heard a giggle; and another; and another, until the walls vibrated with a hum of high-pitched voices. Sirius cursed. “Pixies!”

A throng of wings and glinting teeth poured out of the hole. "Peeves!" Wren shouted, scrambling toward the door. She shook the handle only to discover that it wouldn’t budge. A cold feeling seeped into her fingertips. Someone had locked them in.

One of the pixies grabbed a fistful of Sirius' hair, yanking him away from the door. Wren snatched up the loose brick and smacked the pixie out of the air. Another one latched onto her leg, two of them restraining the arm holding the brick, and she rammed herself against the wall, crushing the pixies behind her. Sirius pulled out his wand and began shouting spells at random, flashes of light bouncing off of the walls.

Several of the pixies, disappointed that their prey was fighting back, fled for the barred window. Once outside they shouted words in a language that Wren didn’t recognize, but the pixies did. All at once, they began fighting to get through the window. Wren continued battering the stragglers with the brick, while Sirius cast spells, until there was only one left. Wren and Sirius cornered it between them. It cackled and threw itself at Sirius, latching onto his belt loops. Sirius dropped his wand, howling.  

Wren groaned. "Hold still," she snapped, slapping Sirius’ hand away from the creature. It squealed, its hand caught in the buckle of Sirius' belt. Wren dropped to her knees and grabbed it by the neck, disabling it as she freed its claws. 

The door behind Sirius swung open and hit the wall with a bang. "I heard shouting, is someone d-" Xavier froze as soon as he saw the two of them, Wren kneeling in front of Sirius with her hands on his belt buckle. Xavier couldn't see the pixie. "Huh. You never did this for ME when we were in detention together last week." 

Wren pulled free the pixie and flung it at Xavier. Released from Wren's chokehold, it squawked, bouncing off of Xavier's chest and thudding onto the floor. It shook itself off and took flight into the hallway. Xavier blinked. 

"You were keeping a pixie in your pants?" He stared at Sirius. "What was it DOING in there?" 

Wren scrambled to her feet, shouldering past Sirius and storming up to Xavier. His eyes went wide and he stumbled backwards. “What are you doing here, Xavier?” she snapped. “This floor is off-limits to anyone who doesn’t have a permission slip.”

“I heard screaming!” he said, gesturing wildly. “I thought someone might be dying!”

Wren shut her eyes. The blue in her hair faded back to black. “Apparently this is where Peeves has been keeping his collection of,” she growled the word, “ _pixies_.”

Xavier rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit, if I’d have known that this is what detention is like now, I’d’ve turned in my Charms homework last week.” Sirius laughed.

Wren’s hands curled into fists. “Did you see anyone else out there?” she demanded.

Xavier shook his head. “No, no- I mean, I ran into Dumbledore a level up and he said something about you two being in detention…”

Wren’s eye twitched. “I think we’re done with detention,” she muttered. Xavier stepped out of her way, letting her storm past him out into the hallway. Sirius jogged after her.

“Wren, wait up!” he called, but she was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently people who aren't my friend are reading this? i mean, enjoy yourselves, but i'm writing this as a birthday present for my friend based off of an rp we did like a hundred years ago, so don't get mad if things don't make sense


	11. what has white hair, a bad attitude, and a secret

Finding a compartment on the Hogwarts Express was always a nightmare, but especially so for Jay. Most of his friends had elected to stay at school over the break, meaning his only travel company was his brother and his brother’s assortment of less-than-delightful friends. Though they would never dare say it in front of Lucius, Jay knew that he wasn’t fully accepted by them- he was a Malfoy by name only. His birth parents hadn’t come from the carefully delineated Sacred Twenty Eight; as far as the Carrow twins and Rosier were concerned, Jay might as well not be a pureblood at all.   
  
Lucius, as a three-year graduate, had a near monarchical claim to the furthest compartment on the train, a dark, quiet corner that smelled like candle wax and rain. An enchantment on the threshold prevented anyone but a pureblood from stepping over it. It was a remnant from decades ago; no one spoke his name, but everyone knew who had put the spell there. Jay hated the compartment; he hated that he could feel the cold, probing tendrils of the magic filtering through his veins, verifying the magic within; he hated the look the Carrows gave him every time he entered (bitter, like he had just spat on their mother's grave); but most of all, he hated remembering the look on Fin’s face when Jay had brought him to the compartment on one of the rare occasions that it was empty, and Fin had been stopped at the door.   
  
Lucius greeted Jay with a cool smile as he entered the compartment. It was colder than usual that day; his brother's limp was more pronounced. Lucius sat between Jay and Amycus. "Mr. Carrow," he said. "Your holiday was enjoyable, I hope?"

"Of course." Amycus smoothed back his hair. Alecto, his sister, picked her fingernails in the opposite corner, knees drawn to her chest. Beside her, Cade's brother lifted his head out of his book. His eyes flickered from Amycus to Lucius, reading their conversation.

"I trust you and your sister received the news?"

Amycus glanced at Jay. "Lucius, is this something we should discuss right now?"

Lucius waved a hand. "Jay can be trusted."

"Yeah, cos I have no idea what you're talking about," Jay chipped in.

"Some in our circle are talking about having a... gathering, of sorts," Lucius said. "As a member of one of the Twenty Eight, you, of course, will also be extended an invitation."

Jay ground his teeth together, but plastered on a fake smile. "Fantastic." He turned to Riddle, who had apparently lost interest and stuck his nose back in his book. "Will you be attending?"

Riddle wasn't paying attention. Jay glanced at the boy's ears and saw that the little white hearing aids were missing. He leaned across the gap to tap Jay's arm.

Riddle hissed and snapped his arm to his chest, snatching Jay's wrist with his other hand. Jay froze. "Did I startle you?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Slowly Riddle released Jay. He curled his hand into a fist, pulling his sleeve further down his arm. Jay eyed him curiously.

"Hurt your arm?" he asked.

"... Yes."

Lucius had a strange expression on his face. Controlled, polite, more a mask than an expression. Jay recognised the look. He knew something. Lucius coughed a quiet, "Ahem," and said, "Riddle, my brother was just asking if you plan on attending our little gathering." He glanced down at Riddle's arm. "Although perhaps I already know the answer."

Jay furrowed his brow, but quickly copied his brother and masked the expression.

"If I must," Riddle muttered, "I will."

"My brother and I look forward to seeing you there. But perhaps we should discuss the details at a later date."

Jay allowed himself a minuscule sigh. He hated with Lucius made plans for him. He consoled himself by thinking about Finn, probably curled up in bed with a good book or eating dinner with Wren and Xavier. He watched the English countryside fly by through the window, the grass wet and the sky muted. Soon, he thought. Soon I'll be home again.

* * *

 

Wren pushed the door to Dumbledore's office open. It clanged against the stone wall. A plume of smoke rose from the figure seated in the chair, back turned to Wren. "You tried to kill me!" she snarled.

"How rude! Barging in here and accusing little old me of Dumbledore's mis-steps." A high pitched giggle came from behind the desk. Wren froze. "Of course, might be harder to accuse him now, considering his promotion..."

"His what? Who are you?"

The woman in the chair spun around. Her dark hair matched the dark circles under her eyes, and there was a misshapen grin on her painted lips. It took Wren only seconds to place her. " _Bellatrix_?"


	12. im in fallout hell leave a message at the beep

A dim green glow streamed in from the enchanted windows of the Slytherin common room. Fin, his palms scrunching up his cheeks, sat hunched over a piece of blank parchment, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. The clock on the wall struck two in the morning. Two hours he had been sitting here behind the bookshelves, staring at the parchment he intended to turn into his History of Magic homework, with no progress.

A couple of seventh years passed him by, not noticing him. It was a Friday night- he wasn't the only one out late, although he was probably the only one doing homework (and failing at it).

His head raised when he heard more voices.

"Someone'll see us!" came a girl's muffled voice. "If it gets back to Fin-"

Fin lifted his head out of his hands.

"Come on, Jay just got back today. They're probably both cuddling upstairs or something." A deeper voice joined the conversation. Fin's gut clenched.

"Doesn't mean there isn't someone else in here," said the girl darkly. Her voice grew louder as the pair approached, clearer. "You know Fin won't take our... relationship... very well, Xavier."

He finally recognised the voice. His wand slid out of his fingers and clattered on the tabletop.

"Shit. What was that?"

Footsteps approached the shelves, but by the time Xavier and Jade rounded the corner, Fin was gone. 


	13. im hungry

It was past curfew, and the dungeons were empty. The Slytherin prefects cared more about their late-night card games than patrolling the halls. Fin was glad for their incompetence. It gave him time to think.

His head was spinning. He'd lost track of the time, but he couldn't think about sleep, or how he was going to wake up for his first class tomorrow. All he could think about was them. Jade and Xavier were together.

And they had kept it from him.

A cold breeze blew past him. The dungeons had become darker and darker as he went further and further into the bowels of the castle. He didn't recognise the paintings that lined the walls. But his breath was still catching in his throat- being lost was the last thing on his mind.

He'd been lied to all his life. Teachers who told him it would all be okay, social workers who told him he had no reason to be hurting. He'd come to expect the lies from them. But this- to be lied to by his friends- this was different.

He took a deep breath and steadied himself against the wall, stone cool under his palm. The chill dragged him out of his thoughts and back to reality- back to the dark, damp hall, and the water-cold air rushing in through barred windows, meters above his head. He turned back the way he had come and saw a fork. Had he come from the left or the right?

He sighed. _I'll just wander until I find a ghost or something_ , he thought. _No one had ever died from being lost in the dungeons._

A sound echoed down the hall to his left, and Fin froze. Voices. Who else could possibly be awake at this hour? He followed the sound, his footsteps echoing against the heavy walls. "Hello?" he called. "Is someone there? Could you tell me the way to the common room?"

"Hurry... late..." Fin paused as the voices began to take shape. He'd overheard enough tonight, but something about this voice sounded familiar.

"He won't... shit!" The voices seemed to be coming from further down the hall, where he had passed an old classroom a while back. "I swear, Lestrange..."

Lestrange? Fin's brow furrowed. Hadn't he graduated a few years ago?

"Relax, Bella. I was only..." Something crashed to the floor, and Fin jumped. "Bollocks!"

Fin bit his lip. Lestrange and Bellatrix were in the castle, and they were up to something. His first instinct was to run in the opposite direction- Jay would know what to do. But his thoughts darkened as he was reminded of Xavier and Jade. Had he known? Xavier couldn't keep his mouth shut about most of his conquests. Someone else had to have known. He couldn't trust his friends.

Making his decision, he cast a silencing charm on his shoes and walked down the hall toward the door. He kept his wand at the ready as he walked noiselessly into the room where he had heard the voices.

Lestrange and Bellatrix were standing in front of an open cabinet, staring into it with an expression reminiscent of children who had been caught with their hand in a cookie jar. A third voice joined theirs from, and the sound of a cane snapping against the wood panel of the cabinet echoed through the stone room.

"You're late," said Lucius. "It's best not to keep The Dark Lord waiting."

Fin's fingers went numb. He didn't realise that he had dropped his wand, sending it clattering across the floor, until it was too late, and all eyes in the room were on him.

* * *

 

"Tragic."

The candles cast flickering shadows against Lucius' face. His brow was burrowed, his eyes, closed. The end of his cane tapped against the floor in a steady rhythm.

"Tragic that the boy should have to go like this," he continued in a low murmur.

"We can't erase his memory." Riddle stood with his back to the fireplace, hands clasped behind him, the picture of a perfect soldier.

"Permanent brain damage for the boy," Bellatrix raised her hands in synchronisation, miming a scale, "us wearing our guts around our neck when He finds out about this idiotic blunder. Your choice!"

"Don't be so dramatic, Bellatrix." Lucius sighed. "No one will notice he's gone for some time yet."

"What about your brother?" Riddle's voice was harsh. "He'll notice. He'll notice that he's missing, and he'll sure as hell notice when we take care of the situation."

A snakelike grin slithered across Bellatrix's lips. "Not if we make it look like an accident."


	14. snakeyrope

Blind panic overtook Fin the second Riddle led him out of the closet. Whatever spell Riddle had put on him kept him from screaming, so he kicked instead, ripping his arm out of the older boy’s grip.

"Stop your struggling!"

Fin froze. It was the first time he had heard Riddle speak above a murmur. His icy gaze bored into Fin, daring him to disobey. He lowered his head.  

Riddle took him by the wrists, testing the strength of the ropes that bound them. "Come with me." 

Fin bit his lip. The door was only a couple of feet away- if he moved quickly enough…

Riddle's eyes flickered shut briefly, a frown crossing his face. "Come with me, or I'll drag you with me."

It was the most words Fin had ever heard the boy speak in a row. When Riddle began to walk, he followed.

They walked until Riddle came to a halt at a blank stone wall and touched his palm to one of the bricks; when he withdrew it, his handprint remained, its blue glow casting shadows across Riddle's face. The wall warbled before fading away. 

Riddle gripped Fin’s shoulder and steered him into the center of the room. Behind them, Fin heard the sound of scraping stones- the wall rematerialized. The second it did, the ropes around his wrists slithered away, dissipating before they hit the floor. He flexed his fingers, wishing desperately that Riddle hadn’t taken his wand.

Unlit candle sconces hung on the walls- the only source of light was a small fireplace whose dying embers flickered in the cold. A mattress laid on the floor beside a small stack of books, on top of which was a bowl of soup. 

Riddle pointed to the bed. "Sit." 

Fin obeyed. The mattress radiated heat, as if someone had been lying in it for hours, even though the rest of the room was cold. Fin watched silently as Riddle reached into his pocket and withdrew a pack of matches. He struck one and tossed it into the ashes of the fireplace, rekindling the flame.

"No magic here," he said, throwing the box onto the floor by Fin's feet. "I'll be back." 

"Why are you doing this?" 

Riddle paused, jaw tightening. Without another word, he disappeared back through the wall. It rematerialized behind him, leaving Fin trapped in the room. 


	15. the jaydar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jay's gaydar.... jaydar ™. the malfoys go to a party

~ winter break somehow... look i never pretended like this was coherently organised ~

The Riddle Estate was a thousand acres of green grass and fog, circled by the rocky cliffs that jutted out of the ocean like knives. The main manor stood in alarmingly close proximity to the shoreline, practically teetering over the edge. Its moss-eaten walls looked about ready to crumble into the sea.

"Are we sure this is the place, Father?" Lucius asked Abraxas. He held the port key- a ragged wool scarf- with the tips of his fingers.

"A charm, obviously," Abraxas drawled. "Come along."

Lucius exchanged a look with Jay, but they followed their father nonetheless.  
They eventually arrived at a collapsed garden wall, now just a row of stones, but Jay felt the electricity of magic in the air. A barrier. He touched the disturbance, watching the invisible wall swallow his hand. He snickered and wiggled his fingers.

"Stop that, Jayden," Lucius said, giving the heel of Jay's boot a little tap with the end of his cane. With a sigh, Jay followed his parents.

The world inside the barrier was nothing like the dreary seaside ruin it appeared to be. The side of the castle wall turned from grey to polished white, gold streamers hanging from the banisters. Little glowing lights bobbed in the air, dancing after Abraxas. As Jay and Lucius continued along the path, which had turned from dirt to moss-squared brick, new lights formed around their heads. "Guide lights," Lucius said, allowing one to settle on the handle of his cane. "Interesting."

The lights danced along the path ahead, leading them along a winding fence. The murmur of voices and laughing grew as they approached four large silk tents surrounded by a field of hedges. A man dressed in all white greeted them at the gated entrance. "And you must be the Malfoy boys," he said with a small bow. He withdrew a key from his breast pocket and tapped the third bar of the gate three times. It swung open. "Please, enjoy the Riddle Estate."

* * *

The young French woman to whom Jay was speaking hadn't stopped batting her eyelashes at Jay since their conversation had started. Objectively, she was very pretty: she had doe eyes and skin like a porcelain doll. He wanted to ask her what her skincare routine was. She wanted to ask him to dinner.

"I'm taken," he said, watching the disappointment flower across her face, delicate and cloying like the rest of her.

"Lucky girl," she said in response.

"He is." Winking, he turned on his heel and headed for the gardens, ignoring the sudden burst of French chatter he left in his wake. He hopped over the low hedges into a flower bed. A shadowed stone bench stood in front of him under a tree- the perfect hiding place. He sat, pulled out the cookies he had stashed in his suit pocket, and began eating.

A child under one of the silken tents began to scream, tiny fat hands banging against the table. The child's father turned pink, attempting to calm the girl by bouncing her on his knee. Jay quirked his lip in an expression of sympathy.

"Dominic's son is making a fuss again, I see." A voice from behind him startled Jay into standing. Riddle raised an eyebrow. "I startled you. I apologise."

It was more words than Jay had ever heard the boy speak. Clearing his throat, he shrugged. "It's fine."

Riddle sat on the bench. Jay took his seat once more beside him.

One of the waiters, a freckled young man with bright red hair, noticed the commotion the girl was causing. Jay watched as he knelt down in front of the child, a toothy smile on his face, and spoke to her. Lilting tones echoed toward the edge of the garden, but he was too far away to make out. The waiter reached toward the girl's ear and suddenly out of it came a string of coloured scarves. The girl's eyes went wide. He balled them up into his hand, but when he opened his fists, they were gone.

Riddle let out a little sound of disgust. "He thinks himself a wizard."

"Not enjoying the show?" Jay asked. Riddle grunted. "I take it you know him?"

"He is a houseboy. He cooks and cleans."

Jay cocked his head. "Don't you have house elves?" He hadn't seen any of the little creatures around, but that wasn't unusual. Dobby, the Malfoys' elf, kept out of sight unless needed. Jay occasionally caught him hiding in the library closet, reading.

"We do," Riddle answered. "Ours cannot cook. And my mother has a soft spot for..." he grimaced, "the pitiable."

The waiter was now making napkins vanish while the little girl, tears dry and forgotten, watched with wonder. "Why doesn't he just use magic?" Jay asked.

Riddle sighed. "He's the Prewett boy. Molly's cousin."

Jay nodded slowly. "Ah. The squib." He grimaced. "Wouldn't your mother rather have the poor cooking?"

Riddle clicked his tongue. "Our family has ties to the Prewetts. This one in particular was a childhood friend of Cade."

Jay let out a laugh. "Friend? Why would any wizard associate with a squib willingly?"

As soon as he said it, he regretted it. Riddle isn't being very kind towards the boy, is he? a little voice whispered in the back of his head. It sounded suspiciously like Fin. He ground his teeth together.

"They can't have much in common, I meant," he finished awkwardly.

Riddle sighed, but instead of responding, turned back toward the waiter.

Across the yard, the Prewett boy tied a pink handkerchief around the little girl's neck. He turned in their direction, saw Riddle, and blew a kiss. Jay blinked.

It took Riddle several seconds to speak. "I enjoyed our conversation," he said haltingly. It was dark, and Jay wasn't sure his eyes had adjusted entirely, but he swore he saw a blush on Riddle's pale face. "I must go find Lucius."

"See you," he said, but Riddle was already walking back in the direction he came. Jay watched him go.

No way... he thought. The famous Slytherin ice prince? There's no way he's...

He tried to recall any time he had actually heard of Riddle being interested in girls. Sure, a number of girls were interested in him. Jay had bunked with a boy in freshman year who kept a picture of Riddle under his pillow. But Riddle hadn't ever seemed interested.

"My dear brother, the wallflower." A cane pushed the gate to the garden open. Lucius glanced at the hedge against Jay's back. "Or perhaps the hedge flower," he said with a smirk.

"Trying your hand at puns, Luce?" Jay asked. "Don't. When it comes to humour, you're all thumbs."

Lucius grimaced. "I am beginning to regret seeking you out."

"Wishing you hadn't lifted a finger to find me?"

Lucius closed his eyes briefly. "Jay, you cannot in good conscience hide behind these bushes all night."

Jay sat up straighter. "Excuse me? I spoke to three whole people tonight!"

"Nilendria, father, and myself hardly count."

Jay thought back to earlier. "I spoke with the French cousin," he said. "And Mrs. Rosier asked me how you were doing. I pointed her in your direction." Lucius's face soured. "Oh, and the other Jay, Cade's brother. He went off to look for you not long ago."

"Did he?" Lucius shook his head. "I haven't seen him."

"Hey, has he ever said anything about a girlfriend?" Jay asked, trying to seem nonchalant.

Clearly, he failed, because Lucius laughed. "Don't tell me you're interested in him. Aren't you dating Fin?"

"What? Shut up, of course I am. It's just nice to meet someone who might have similar- you know, inclinations."

"Trust me, Jay, you're- what is it those muggles say? Parking on the wrong tree?" Lucius shook his head. "Riddle's the only male heir in his family. He knows he can't share those... inclinations, as you say."

"You know that's not how it works."

"I don't think that's how Jay sees it."

"Shit. Hey, if you see him again, let him know... I know what that's like, and he can- if he ever... shit, never mind. He probably won't talk to me anyway. God, I'm going to be the only gay one in Slytherin until I graduate, aren't I?"

"It does seem that way."


	16. lololololololol

_~ hey remember how wren found bellatrix in the headmasters office? yeah we're back there again ~_

* * *

 

"I'm so glad you're here, Montgomery. I was just about to come find you."

Wren fought through frozen muscles to open her mouth. "What- why- where's Dippet?"

Bellatrix flicked a lazy wrist. "Subdued with a nasty case of the dragon pox. I'm in charge now."

"You're barely even graduated! I want to speak to a professor."

"I'm an assistant professor- isn't that good enough?"

"No! I need... did you lock me in that room? It had to have been you!"

"I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about, Monty. Anyway, we have bigger fish to fry." Bellatrix winked. "Do you remember the last time you were in this very office?"

"What's that got to do-"

Bellatrix spoke louder, drowning Wren out. "Because I do! You had just viciously assaulted poor, poor Harris Langley- I mean poor figuratively of course. You do know his parents are aurors, right?"

"Viciously assaulted? Oh, please. His hair's pink- so what?"

"He threatened you! We understand, we really do. But- well- here's the thing, Monty."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Langley's gone missing. And right now, you're the top suspect."

* * *

Wren walked into the Great Hall in a daze, heels dragging behind her. A dozen voices called out her name, but she couldn't hear them through the buzzing in her brain. How could they suspect her of hurting Langley? Where was Dippet? Why had Bellatrix been allowed to take his place?

"Wren? Wren? Damn it, Wren!"

Someone was shaking her. "Knock it off!" she snapped, flapping her hands. Sirius's face blinked back at her.

"She's clearly hysterical," said Xavier to his left.

"Give her a minute! Who knows what Dippet did to her!" Jade snapped.

"Not Dippet," Wren mumbled, rubbing her fingers against her temple. "Narcissa's sister. She's back."

Jay, sitting between Jade and Xavier, frowned at her. "Bellatrix? Didn't she graduate a decade ago?"

"Shut up!" Wren closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I went to confront Dippet about- I'm sure Sirius told you. But Bellatrix was there. She's in charge- I don't know how, but she is. She told me- she told me Langley's missing."

"Who?"

"Oh my God, Sirius, you have, like, all your classes with him," said Jade, rolling her eyes.

"Is he... the one with the glasses?"

"Pink hair."

Sirius broke into a grin, one he abruptly coughed to hide. "I- oh, that's... that's terrible."

"You know what's terrible?" Wren slammed her fist on the table. A couple of first years went quiet along the table, and Jade sent them a vicious look. They turned away. "She's saying I did it. She's saying I'm the number one suspect," said Wren, her voice shaking.

Behind her, someone clicked their tongue. Wren jumped, but it was only Cade, approaching from the Ravenclaw table. A few Slytherins eyed her suspiciously, but with Sirius at the table siphoning most of the glares, Cade seemed unbothered. "I didn't figure she had a brain," Cade said. "Thought all that hair crushed it. But that was smart of her."

"How the fuck are you siding with her?" Sirius, who had gone red-faced, elbowed Cade in the side the second she plopped down beside him. Unfazed, Cade twirled a piece of his hair in her fingers and then jerked it, causing him to yelp.

"Never said I was, idiot. Listen, Black's playing a game, yeah? Wren's got motive- kind of- and she's got a grand total of 0 adults who give a shit."

"Hey, Cade, has anyone ever told you you're a bitch?" Xavier interjected.

"Will you fucking let me finish? Trixie thinks she's got the perfect little patsy for whatever crock she's stirring, right?" Cade shrugged. "Well, we've got to find the pot."

"What's this got to do with weed?"

"Absolute. Moron." Case tightened her grip on Sirius' strand of hair, and he whined. "Didn't you follow the metaphor? We've got to do some digging. Find Langley."

"Speaking of missing people, has anyone seen Fin lately?" Jade said. "We could use his help, and I know he hates to be out of the loop."

It occurred to Wren that she hadn't seen Fin all day. He'd been missing from first period, but she had just assumed that he and Jay- who had first period off this quarter- were huddled under a tree somewhere making snow angels and giggling. It wasn't unusual for Fin to miss classes anyway- she wasn't sure she had ever seen the boy properly healthy.

"Yeah, where's Mousy, anyway? Thought he must've nipped off with you during Charms. Didn't see him there," Cade said to Jay. Jay bit his lip.

"Maybe he's sick?" he suggested. "He was out pretty late last night- I think he left his scarf in the greenhouse."

"Well, didn't he come back?" Cade asked.

"Probably. I was dead tired, so I went to bed before he got back."

"He's probably passed out in the library somewhere," Jay said with a shrug, but there was anxiety hiding behind his eyes. "I'll go check on him, make sure-"

Jay was cut off by the sound of the doors slamming open, banging hollowly against the stone walls. A gaggle of red-faced first years stumbled into the Great Hall, all speaking at once. Wren caught only words- "frozen", "lake", "get help"- but couldn't make out what was wrong.

"Silence!"

McGonagall's voice rose from the teacher's table. The hysterical students snapped their mouths shut, eyes flickering nervously between one another as McGonagall strode down the center of the tables.

"Well?" she demanded. "Have you gone deaf? What seems to be the problem?"

A girl at the front of the group stepped toward. "We- we were out by the greenhouse, and we saw- there's-" she swallowed, shutting her eyes. "There's a body! Someone froze to death in the snow!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember how i said it would all be ok? read until the end b4 u get too depressed

Nights were quiet under the lake- nothing was awake to make a sound except for the mountain of water above. Tonight, the only noise to break the silence was hushed murmurs coming from a group of students huddled around the fire, eyes gaunt, shut, or red around the edges.

" _Who is it? Whose body?_ "

McGonagall's voice still rang in Jay's ears, now more or less stifled by the firewhiskey slowly replacing all the blood in his veins. The glass bottle was warm in his hand, and there were no doubt red stripes across his cheek from how long he had been resting his head on his arms. Cade, beside him, had fallen asleep hours ago, her hand still warm on his upper arm. She, Wren, Jade, and Xavier had spent the past night in silence. Jade and Xavier were huddled in front of the fire, talking in hushed voices that gradually grew louder the more sure they became that Jay was asleep, but he didn't care about what they were saying. All he could hear was what had come next.

" _It's- it's that boy, the Slytherin! Fin!_ "

Now, through the haze of alcohol, he couldn't remember exactly what had happened next. He remembered something bursting, the knot of anxiety in his chest fraying and then exploding into flame. He might have screamed. He might have cried. He might have clutched the wooden table beneath him and dry-heaved a little until someone fall with warm hands had hurried him away. He wasn't sure anymore- but he knew he probably didn't want to remember.

Now, all he could remember was that his firewhiskey was gone, and slowly but surely, what he had drunk was wearing off, warmth leeching out of him, replaced by the pain of a headache. He fought against the lucidity.

Every movement felt like someone was shattering glass inside his bones, but he dragged himself into a sitting position. The world briefly turned black as blood sluggishly rushed back into his brain. Jade and Xavier stopped talking.

"Hey, buddy," Xavier said. "We thought you were asleep."

He was silent.

"Need some more firewhiskey?" Jade asked.

He ignored her. "I'm going to go take a bath."

Xavier and Jade watched him, concern in their eyes, as he dragged his feet over to the door out of the common room, speaking the password. The concrete wall scraped apart.

Someone was standing on the other side, mouth poised to speak the password. Jay vaguely recognised him as Regulus Black, Sirius' younger brother and a fellow Slytherin. He stared at Regulus with tired eyes.

"I need Wren," the boy said finally. "Sirius wants to see her."

Jay jerked his head inside. "Couch."

Regulus nodded and brushed past him, but froze halfway through the door. "Malfoy... I'm sorry. About your- your... whatever he was to you."

Jay clenched his jaw. "You can say it now. He's-" He choked on the implication. He is. As if he still was anything. "He... he was... my boyfriend."

Regulus blinked, and then vanished into the common room. Jay didn't care if he had been rude, nor did he care what Sirius wanted with Wren.

Right now, all he wanted was a nice, long bath.

* * *

The secret bathhouse was empty, as usual. Lucius had shown it to Jay just before he had graduated, making him promise to keep it a secret from anyone he didn't trust. That was a very long list, and thusly, it was the one place he could count on being blissfully and peacefully alone.

Right now, that's all he wanted to be. The one person he wanted with him was...

As if it had sensed his desire, the bath was already filled when he entered. All he had to do was slip out of his clothes and into the hot water, warm enough to instantly seep into his aching muscles but cool enough that it didn't burn. The perfection was almost a little disappointing. He wouldn't have minded the pain.

Idly, he began to scratch at the scar running down his chest, long and jagged. It had been bothering him more than usual tonight, even through the numbing of the liquor.

The water was tinged pink. Jay blinked, wondering if it was a trick of the light, but then he saw it: a red swirl in the water, like a string waving in the wind. He lifted his hand out of the water. Blood had accumulated under his fingernails.

Sighing, he pressed his palm to the cut.

Jay heard a small noise coming from the doorway- the crinkle of paper. He ignored it, assuming someone's pet had gotten out and was roaming the halls, but a few seconds later, there was a knock. He rolled his eyes to the side, unable to lift his head, and saw a slip of paper on the floor. Whoever had been there was gone- only light, no shadows, streamed in through the crack under the door.

He sunk further into the water, as if willing it to swell up and swallow him. When it didn't, he sighed and dragged himself laboriously out of the bathtub, pinkish water streaming off of him into cold puddles on the tile floor. A couple of drops landed on the parchment as he loomed over it. Someone had written something in neat, rigid cursive. He squinted down at it, reaching to pick it up.

_Seventh floor, left corridor, across from the ugly tapestry. Midnight._

He turned it over, wondering if there was a signature. Instead, the words on the back stopped his breath cold.

_He's alive_.

Jay's vision flashed white, and he swayed to the side, falling heavily against a pillar. He snatched the letter off the floor and threw the door open, stumbling out into the hallway.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Who left this here?"

No one answered. Everyone, he realised, would be asleep in the dormitories.

It was probably for the best, he realised, since he hadn't grabbed a towel before he burst into the hallway.

He dragged himself back into the humid bathroom, falling against the door when he shut it and staring at the damp note in his hands, shaking.

Midnight. Maybe that's when he would have all the answers.


	18. fuckin NO SERVICE basement FUCK

The owl came in the middle of the night, the beating of wings in the open window waking Felix from his fitful sleep. He groaned, pulling the sheets further over his head. "Go away."

The owl ignored him. The bedsprings squeaked as it hopped off of the windowsill and onto the sheets, shuffling up closer to Felix. He could hear paper scraping against cloth, no doubt some letter from someone who had no respect for the fact that it was darker than death outside, as well as a Sunday. Felix stuck his head under his pillow.

For a moment, the owl was silent, and Felix breathed a sigh of relief, thinking perhaps it had given up.

And then it began to screech.

Felix jack-knifed up, sending the pillow flying and scattering his sheets. The owl simply took flight, perching on a desk. "F'ckin... fine! Bring me the damn letter!" he whined, burying his head in his hands. The owl, unmoved by Felix's melodrama, simply turned and stared at him. "Oh, what-you were just over here, you big feathery- I hate you."

Eyes rolling back in his head, he pulled his legs out from under the covers and stood, dragging his feet over to the owl. It stuck out its leg as soon he approached it, revealing a golden scroll attached with a blue ribbon. Out of the scroll slithered a delicate silver chain and locket, and after that, a neatly folded letter sealed with blue wax. Felix recognised the insignia stamped into it, and his heart skipped a beat, warmth seeping into his cheeks. But his burgeoning smile vanished as he read the letter.

_Felix,_

_I did something bad. I need you._

_Open the locket. Please._

_The name had been scribbled out. Beneath it, in a much more hesitant hand, was a nickname._

_Jay Riddle_  
_Blue Jay_

Felix chewed his lip. No doubt the picture in the locket was a portkey. Sensing his hesitation, the owl gave Felix's hand a nip. "Yeah, yeah... wanna come with me?"

The owl puffed up its feathers and took a step back. Felix laughed. "I prefer flying too."

He fingered the locket for a moment longer before clasping it around his neck and tugging on some jeans and an old pullover. It was blue- one of Jay's that had no longer fit. It didn't really fit Felix either, but he wore it nonetheless.

He tugged the locket out from under his collar, letting it fall open in his palm. An old black and white photo stared back at him in the dim light. Two boys riding a broomstick, wearing bright smiles and matching goggles.

He bit his lip, bracing himself before letting his finger fall over their faces. He shut his eyes as the portkey grabbed hold, ripping him from the Riddle Estate and into a swirling vortex.

When he opened them, he was crouching on the floor of an unfamiliar room filled with books and red velvet cushions.

White hair stuck out from underneath the blanket. Felix dropped to his knees, lifting the covers and crawling underneath.

Jay stirred, drawing a sharp breath and furrowing his brow. "Wh'sthere..."

Felix touched Jay's arm, then reached over so one hand was within Jay's line of sight. "Portkey delivery," he signed. "Sign here, please."

"Felix?" The relief in Jay's voice was tangible. He rolled halfway onto his back, just enough that Felix could see the dark circles under Jay's eyes. "You got my owl."

"Well, I tried to make him go away, but he screamed at me until I paid attention to him, so..."

A rare smile broke through the exhaustion on Jay's face. But as soon as it came, the expression was gone, and Jay fell silent. Felix could see the thoughts like churning waves in his head, heavy and powerful. He opened his mouth a few times, but always shut it. His eyes began to grow red, and Felix realised he wasn't blinking.

He pulled himself closer to Jay, hooking a leg over his. "You look like shit, love. Come on. Time for our beauty rest. Whatever's going on, it can wait until morning."

* * *

 

Felix awoke to warm sheets and a cold, empty space beside him on the mattress. There was a cool breeze coming from a window that hadn't been there last night. The panels were hanging open, and Felix could make out someone on the balcony beyond.

He pulled himself out of bed, heading for the door.

Jay was sitting against the wall, a book in his hand, his head resting on his arm. Felix sat down beside him. Jay's knuckles turned white, and his fingernails sank into the soft leather of the book. Felix put a hand over Jay's wrist, gently tugging the book out of his hands and uncurling Jay's fingers one by one.

"Come on, mate. Poor book doesn't deserve that."

"I found a boy by the lake."

Felix fell silent. Hesitantly, he took Jay's hand again. Jay gripped him tightly, expression unchanging.

"Cold. Almost frozen. He still had a pulse when I found him."

"Who was it?"

"I don't know. Some kid. Langley, maybe."

Jay's head fell, eyes boring into the stone floor. Felix waved a hand in his line of vision, but Jay wouldn't look up.

"But you saved him. Right?" he finally signed.

Jay blinked. "No." He shook his head. "No. I killed him. I killed him, Felix."

* * *

"I've been involved in something. I've joined an order. They're fighting back. Against- against..." Jay's head dropped, hair falling over his eyes. His jaw was clenched. Without lifting his head, he let his left sleeve slide down his arm.

Felix dropped Jay's hand as if he'd been burned.

"Is that- is that the-"

Jay's head snapped up, and he turned to face Felix, eyes wide. "Listen," he said, "it's not what you think. I'm not working for them. The new order I joined- they're fighting back. Only they needed infiltrators. People on the inside."

Slowly, the wire constricting Felix's throat loosened. He rubbed his eyes, and his fists came away wet. "I can't believe this. I wait a decade for you to even- to just be able to look at me, and now you're going to die because you're a bloody double agent for the bloody Deatheaters."

Jay glanced away.

"What's it- what's this new thing called, anyway, that would send a- you do realise you're seventeen, right? You're just a kid."

"Felix-"

"Come on, what are they called? Tell me so I can- so I can... send them a strongly worded letter. Or something."

"The Order of the Phoenix."

"Hold up, how is this relevant? What does this Order of the Phoenix-" he said it in a sing-song tone, "-have to do with... with..." His anger faltered as he remembered why Jay had brought him here. His shoulders slumped. "Jay..."

"There was a meeting a few days ago." Jay spoke through clenched teeth. "Only it was- interrupted. By someone... someone whose courage I admire. None of us knew how to wipe a memory, and no one wanted to risk bothering... well. They told me to- to take care of him." His eyes flickered shut. Tears leaked out of the corners. "I was leaving campus to get someone. The leader of the Order. That's when I found Langley."

"He was already dying. So close to death that he may as well have been a corpse. Stank of alcohol. I still had to save Fin... all it took was a little Polyjuice potion."

"All I had to do- all I had to do was let him die."

Jay's voice broke.

"He said it would be okay. It's for the greater good- but it's not okay. It's-"

The tears fell freely now, and Jay curled in on himself, muffling his sobs in his hands.

"Jay, who told you it would be okay?"

"Dumbledore. He said- he said it was all to help the cause, to save that dumb kid... But all I can think about is Langley, and Fin's- his Jay. They're together, and they told him yesterday-" Whatever words he might have said next dissolved into the tears streaking his face.

Felix tugged Jay closer to him, letting the boy collapse into his embrace. The warm, wet feel of tears staining his sweater was familiar, and so was Jay's grip on his leg, squeezing just tight enough to be painful. Felix shut his eyes and ran a hand through Jay's hair, forcing down the anxiety rising in his throat.

He hated Jay's attacks. They left both of them feeling powerless- Jay powerless to calm down, and Felix powerless to help.

Now, though, the spectre clogging Jay's throat and wetting his face wasn't some long-forgotten childhood scar. Now it was something worse. Whoever this Dumbledore was, they had forced Jay to let someone die- and almost worse, forced him to get that snake tattooed on his arm, a brand that would mark him wherever he went.

It took minutes for Jay to still. Soon, stillness turned into stiffness, and as if nothing had happened, he pulled away, straightening his back against the stone wall. His hands were clasped neatly in his lap, blue eyes staring straight ahead. "I'm sorry," he said eventually.

"Shut up." Felix put his arm back around Jay's shoulder. "Look- all of this? There's an easy way to snap you out of it." 

Jay snorted. "What."

"We have to tell Malfoy."


	19. i roll to name the chapter. critical fail

It was approaching midnight. Jay dodged the patrolling professors haunting the halls like ghosts as he entered the seventh floor corridor, the note, now crumpled and damp, clutched in his shaking hands. Anxiety curled in his throats like piano wire. Fin was alive.

 _If this note is a prank, he thought, I'll kill anyone involved._ He wasn't even sure if he was exaggerating. His wand, handle warm, was gripped just as tightly as the note in his other hand.

There was no one at the meeting point- no one that he could see, at least. The lanterns hanging on the wall had been dimmed for the night, and there were shadows around every corner.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of them move.

He snapped his wand arm up, face drawn. "Who's there?" he demanded.

"Really, Jay. Put down your wand," said a second figure emerging from the wall. "It's me."

"L-Lucius?" Jay mumbled, his arm falling to his side, limp. Lucius stepped out of the darkness. Another figure emerged from behind him, white hair bright in the shadows. Riddle.

"Lucy, what's- you have to tell me what's going on," Jay said.

"Not here."

He turned to the empty wall behind him. "I assume I do not have to impress upon you that this is a secret, Jay," he said. Jay nodded. "Good. Stand back."

He laid his hand on the wall, and the space under his palm glowed blue. The bricks began to shift, blue lines filling the spaces between them, until a doorway opened up into a small room.

Standing barefoot in the center of the room, wearing a pair of silk pajamas a couple of sizes too large, was Fin.

* * *

Jay pulled Fin into a kiss, not caring about the audience they had or the salty taste of tears on Fin's lips. Through the kiss, Jay began to frown, and suddenly ripped himself away, whipping out his wand and pointing it at Riddle. "Tell me what happened, now," he growled.

Lucius sighed, stepping in front of Riddle. "We thought it best if Griffin explained."

Gently, Fin unraveled himself from Jay's grip. "Jay, c'mon, put the wand down. Please."

Jay ground his teeth together. Fin's face was warm and pink- he didn't look scared. The salt he had tasted on his lips wasn't just his tears- there was a bowl of soup on a cushion near the fireplace. He licked his lips, and tasted rosemary. "You- you look fine. Are you? What did they do to you?" Jay demanded.

"It's okay. Riddle's- well, he saved me."

"From what?"

"Uh... Deatheaters."

Jay's grip on his wand grew limp. His arm fell to his side. "Death-deatheaters?" he said breathlessly. His heart hammered in his chest, a reservoir of anxiety opening and flooding him. "Deatheaters?" he repeated, more loudly this time. "How the- why- when did you ever- Fin!"

Fin reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers. Jay calmed, concentrating on the warmth of Fin's shaky grasp. "Jay's- er, Riddle's a part of a group. The Order of the Phoenix. He's working undercover right now- that's why he and Lucius have me. Two days ago I saw... something that upset me. I went for a walk and ended up somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. I saw... a meeting. And then the meeting saw me. They were going to kill me. So Jay-Riddle- found a way to pretend like they had."

Fin glanced down at Riddle's shoes, as if unwilling to make eye contact. Jay had forgotten, in his momentary bliss, about the body they had brought in from the lake. It was real- someone had died.  
One part of him was curious, and another, sympathetic. But the loudest part only wanted to celebrate the fact that it wasn't Fin.

"So what, you're just going to keep Fin here? For how long?" he demanded. "And Jade, Wren- everyone is a wreck. You can't expect me to keep this to myself."

"We don't. Not for long, anyway." Lucius leaned against the wall, idly twirling his wand between two fingers. "Griffin, you've caused a lot of trouble." Although he said Griffin, he looked at Riddle. Fin didn't seem to notice, and hung his head. "Thankfully, the delay is only temporary."

Jay drew Fin impossibly closer, shooting his brother a disparaging look.

"The delay in what? You have a plan, then?" he asked.

"Of course we do."

"And what is it?"

"All in due time, my brother." Lucius straightened and began heading for the door. "Feel free to stay as long as you like. Simply promise me that when you leave, you will wait to tell the others."

"Of course," Jay lied. He had already drafted a preliminary speech for Jade. Lying to his brother was one thing. Lying to someone who hadn't stopped shaking for the past two days was another.

Lucius turned and fixed Jay with a long, hard look, one that Jay returned. Finally, he left, vanishing through the stone wall. Jay instantly relaxed in Fin's arms, turning toward him.  

"Are you going to stay?" Fin asked.

"Oh, believe me," Jay said through a heavy exhale, "I am not leaving you for one second."


	20. ?????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was really supposed to be attached to the last chapter so it's SHORT im SORR

Jay tugged off his shoes and belt and slid into the empty space beside Fin on the mattress. It was preternaturally warm- cool enough that he could stay comfortably under the covers, but warm enough that his school uniform, even unburdened by his cloak, still felt sticky. Fin, facing him, glanced at his attire. He opened his mouth, but before he could formulate the words, Jay heard a soft thump, and Fin's eyes focused on something just beyond Jay's shoulder.

"I was going to suggest you change, but I guess the room got to it first," he said. Jay craned his neck around. A pair of silk blue pajamas, neatly folded, laid on a pillow beside the mattress.

"Couldn't have spawned these before I laid down?" he grouched, reluctantly leaving the covers and dragging himself to his feet.

Jay began to button up the blouse, one heavenly button after the other. "Hey, what do you reckon would happen if I just walked out? These can't exist outside this room, so..."

But Fin didn't respond. He glanced down and realised that Fin was staring at Jay's chest, eyes wide. Heat coursed through Jay at the realisation that his scar was clearly visible through his undershirt.

"Oh. It's- um." He quickly finished buttoning the shirt, and then stood awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Finally, Fin spoke. "Um- aren't you going to lay back down?"

Hesitantly, he climbed back onto the mattress with Fin, clutching a handful of the front of his pajamas.

"Do you want to... talk about it?" Fin asked.

Jay bit his lip. "Maybe later," he said. "Right now all you need to know is that it's old. I've grown up with it, and it's grown with me."

Fin gave him a jerky nod. "Fine."

The tension in Jay's shoulders released as Fin settled closer to him, his head falling into Jay's arm. His hands were cold, and the blankets, though thick, let in the cool air, but Jay didn't care. The warmth in his chest was enough. He laid a kiss on Fin's head and shut his eyes. For the first time since that fateful night in the Great Hall, he slept.


End file.
